One boy used to come to teach me in matriculation, and then he was doing MSC. then he did job , now we are together in university , I changed myself for him to such extent that I cannot believe it, he asked me to wear Veil I did that and he restricted me to talk with other boys and girls. Now he says me not to obey my family. I had been his student; he was not the same before he has changed; now I am mentally upset to such level that it seems difficult to get MSC degree. (J, R Ghang)
Suggestion:Try to learn the lesson that how the life becomes teasing when you go closer to Non-Mehram. There is time have distance from him, be careful there must not be anger and taunt in your voice. Study the Islamic teachings your all problems will come to an end. As far as the matter of friendship, the base of friendship is the freedom. The friendship is strong in which there is no curiosity about one another, usually people who restrict others according to their own tastes and likings and disliking becomes unbearable. You must start wearing veil with your own will and mental satisfaction to obey Allah Almighty to have peace and increase the sense security. Now he is restricting you about your family now stop him.
Could not tell anything to Mother:
I liked my cousin; I thought he will talk about me sometime. He went to America recently, I am sad after his going. I did not talk to him, but my sister in law told that he talked about me to her, she I thought I may be anger so she became silent. I am also fearful that she may tell to my mother in wrong sense. (G, Islamabad)
Suggestion: Nothing should be hided from mother, talk to mother and tell her the entire story, if the boy is she will handle the matter in good way. You have not done anything wrong in this way you will save yourself from the worrisome thoughts.
Bad reaction of medicine:
I am too much sensitive; I keep on thinking small things not for months but for weeks. Either the talk is good or bad it sticks in mind. My friend is getting psychological treatment, I started to eat her medicines, I was tired of my situation, but it reacted badly, I felt annoyed, worried, and cold sweating. Family members do not take seriously this problem of mine.
Suggestion: Do not put yourself in danger by eating others medicines because the bad reaction can be severe. Fear, anger, tension, overwhelming thoughts, teasing feelings, and regrets, all these feelings makes a person worried all the time.
Inferiority complex:
My cousin is in abroad. my mother always compare me with him, my father was not so rich , he could not afford to give us further education after Metric, when somebody comes from abroad i do not like to go to meet him, I think I will get inferiority complex. (Kamran Okara)
Suggestion: usually parents compare their children with the children of neighbor's children and the relatives' children but it is never fruitful, it gives pessimism to children. Do not leave meeting with others, discuss about yourself to mother. And try to make your mother understand that if she will be far from you then she will be worried a lot. it is not necessary to go abroad by any mean to live. a good life. Those who get higher education or have any skill get success in abroad,
Those who follow the path to success even after facing a lot of problems they must proud of their self.
Unwell in exams: it three years now I became unwell in exams. A weak before exams abdominal problem starts. I got treatment but could not recover. As the exams end I start to feel well. If any of the family members say this in the house I do not believe but I think while I am alone, then I feel that it is true, I must tell that I do not pretend. (Kashif, Lahore)
Suggestion:some young boys and girls feel so much stress and fear that they fall ill. Actually they feel fearful of exams, to avoid exams their mind gets successfully use unconscious pretending. The reason of your illness is fear in mind and anxiety, there are many reasons of such type of fear like, not preparing for the exams from the start of the year, not taking interest in studying books, but feel to study due to the fear of parents, thinking of failure in good grades.to end this fear start study from the start of the year. And take test every month make this test as important as the annual exams are.
I am helpless: I cannot eat home food, I feel that it is not cooked in tidy way, I can eat the food which my mother cooks for me, now she has gone for Pilgrimage (Ummra) and sister in law took the responsibility of cooking and I started eating from hotel. My brother was angry but I am helpless. I feel they force me to eat at home but I do not tell anything to anybody I remain worried inwardly, I am also worried about my mother that something may happened to her. I call her again and again. I do not want to go to university, education is also effecting. (Shehryar, Koita)
Suggestion:The truth is that the home food is good for health. You like the food of hotel because you have not seen it how it is cooked. Anyhow it is all due to problems and negative thinking. Brother loves you that are why he wants you to home cooked food. Parents have deep love for children and vice versa but it do not mean that if they need to go away from one another then they cannot live a normal life. You are a university student realize the importance and needs of time and pay attention towards your study, you will feel that the time is passing hurriedly.
